It’s hard, you know, seeing all of your friends take your advice and ending up in successful relationships. In the past six months, I have encouraged two of my friends to try out Tinder and both of them resulted in committed relationships. I also encouraged two other friends to give their pursing guys chances and now they’re both in committed relationships… all of which have happened in the past six months while I have had a terrible track record of dating here in LA.
It’s been a long four months since my last date, when I blew through the last of my three men. Not all of them were deserving of my time, but the last one stung for sure.
I’ve learned that people approach relationships differently in LA. They have a mindset that there is always something better out there. This is true with everything about this city – food, music, entertainment, lifestyle, diets, jobs, locations, etc. Everyone is out to find the new and exciting thing first. So, it oftentimes transfers over into their love life. Most guys are non-committal and halfway-dating multiple people. Most girls are playing more than one guy.
People here are busy and not intentional with their time, unless it benefits themselves. I’ve come to the conclusion that people here in LA are, for the most part, just looking out for themselves. I was taught to put other’s before myself, and if I’m looking out for the interest of others (while they’re also looking out for themselves) who is looking out for me?
I’m learning that only I can lookout for myself. I know it sounds stupid, but I have learned that I must look twice before “crossing the road.” Aka, I can no longer be naïve, take people at their word, and I must always be on the lookout for mixed intentions.
Before living in LA, vulnerability and intentionality were on my top 10 list of things that I valued in friendships and blossoming relationships. Now those are the in the top 5 of that list.
People here are different. They’re not all bad, but they’re definitely different than southerners. I think my heart is still in recovery mode from the Holidays. Or maybe it’s just one of those seasons where I’m tired of picking myself up again. Either way, it’s halftime and Addie is taking a break.
I don’t know when I will give love another chance, but it’s definitely not anytime soon.
Until then, keep living and loving, LA!