The First Email

Since the beginning of my time on match, I have received several first emails that I thought were great examples of how to get someone to respond to you and some that are not…

Good Examples

Funny:

“Just don't wear heels... And maybe we can go out. I like your style and would be interested in getting to know you.”

“So winking doesn't work huh? I think that's kind of lame too. I'm ______ by the way.”

Sincerity:

“Hey [username], you are a very interesting person and I would love a chance to get to know you.” 

“Hey, I'm ________. How are you? I just wanted to say hello. I hope you are doing well! I look forward to hearing from you!”

Referencing something specific from my profile:

“I like your profile. You seem to exercise a lot. Did you really run a marathon?”

Bad Examples

 “Very classy profile and great smile. Up for fun, and being spoiled by a genuine guy a little older? You deserve to be.”
Thoughts: Compliments are always nice.. but remember age preference

“Given your affliction for Dallas, and running, I assume you run the Katy Trail? It helps that there's a bar right on it for hydrating.”

Thoughts: I’m on here to avoid the casual hook-up relationship that comes from the bar scene…

“Hey, what's up? Working in the __________ industry sounds fun... What exactly do you do?”

Thoughts: Work, as fun as it may be, is not my only passion. See profile for details.

“Do people really contact you right away, and out of the blue to do coffee or something?”

Thoughts: Like you’re kind of doing right now?

When you’re on a dating website, expect to get a lot of emails, winks, pokes… however the method of contact is… expect to get a lot (if you’re not, then you might need to rethink your profile—see post on Enhancing Your Dating Profile).

The first email you send or the first email you receive from an individual user matters more than any other email. When you’re reading through lots of emails, you’re not going to respond to all of them… you’re only going to respond to the ones that jump out at you… the one’s that catch your attention.

For me, if you make me laugh, or if you seem sincere, I am more likely to respond. Guys on the other hand want a girl to seem confident, independent, laid back, funny and genuine. Most of them list this in their profile, but if you’re a girl and you want to initiate the conversation, keep that in mind… and the fact that they also want you to try to catch their attention, but not throw yourself at them.