I have decided today to rant on about how inappropriate it is for a guy, who is engaged, to be texting his ex-girlfriend (me) two weeks prior to his wedding.
I probably should back up here a bit to tell my point.
James, a photographer, and I dated a while ago, off and on for almost a year and a half during university. The reason why it was off and on? Well, it was long distance and about six months into dating him, I found out he had someone else on the side—me. I was the “other girl,” and he had an “official” girlfriend at the university that he was attending. I was just the girl he would get together with when we would both go home for breaks, and whom he would text every day, and talk to every night on the phone.
He broke it off with her and him and I continued to date even though I knew better. It took longer for me to end it with him (8 months later) because of the emotional bond I had built with him. But once my friends intervened, I broke the habit of him and I swore to never go back. And I haven’t.
However, since the beginning of last year, he has contacted me and apologized numerous of times in hopes of regaining a friendship. Always saying that he regrets a lot about how he led me and his interaction with me, but then he defends his actions by saying that he thought he was going to marry me.
He stopped contacting me soon after he started dating his now fiancé until one day last summer when he discovered through a mutual friend that I sometimes model for my friends to help them with their portfolio.
I've only done it about five times, and it’s always flattering to be asked to do a photo shoot with someone for their portfolio, but with an ex-boyfriend?
I've been able to put off doing a photo shoot with him since last summer, but I caved recently. I can only say “no” so many times. This weekend we’re supposed to get together before I take him to the airport, which is two weekends before his wedding.
I haven’t seen him since we broke up in 2008. I trust myself but I do not trust him. Is the saying, “once a cheater, always a cheater,” still relevant today?
All I know is that:
- I do not want to be the “other girl” ever again
- I do not want my fiancé texting his ex-girlfriends to hang out two weeks before our wedding—even if it is to help his portfolio
- I’m going to carry Mace in my purse—where does one buy Mace?