Obsession can be a good thing ;)

I am obsessed with this song

Crave by Flight Facilities 

Never, Ever Turn Down a First Date

This is my most recent blog post on Singles Warehouse. To read it on their website, click here.
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So, summer has slowly dwindled and it’s time to start getting cozy for fall.

This is the time when we are transitioning into what I like to call the “relational-high” period of the year. We have left the fun, flirtatious, laid-back summer and are moving into lots of dinner parties, campfires, cook-outs—you know, the seasons where if you’re not in a relationship, you wish you were.

This is also the time where I find I get asked on more dates than I do at any other time of the year.

The only thing is that I don’t know if I want to just go on a date to write about it anymore.

For about a month now I have been having this odd feeling of wanting to “plant roots.” Only, I don’t know if I want to do it in Dallas—in fact, I don’t know where I want to do it.  And if you put all of that into terms of dating, it gets complicated.

A few guys have made advances recently and the question remains, do I go on the dates or not?

Well, that answer is easy—you always go on a first date. If a guy musters up the confidence to ask you out, the least you can do is oblige his wish of taking you out and give him a chance.

But, in my opinion, there is only one exception to this rule. You can turn down a first date if: the other person has different beliefs on a foundational topic—like drugs, religion, politics—whatever foundational topic is on your non-negotiable list.

Lucky for me, the two guys that have made advances are great! One is a Doctor (just graduated from Med school) and the other is a Sales Rep who works out at my gym. I met both of them outside of the online dating world and so far they seem to be really nice guys!

The first date is this weekend with the Sales Rep! It should be fun! I just need to figure everything else out before either one of them ask me on a second date :)  Stay tuned for updates regarding both of the gentlemen!

Understanding and Recovering from Rejection

[Here is my latest article with Singles Warehouse. To read it on there website, click here.]

In one of my last articles, I talked about how I was rejected by a Pastor and I said that rejection, in any form can be a good thing. And it can! We just have to learn how to understand, accept and learn from it.

I will be the first to tell you that rejection hurts, but I will also say that it’s impossible to avoid. It is an important part of life that teaches us many things.

I always try to look at rejection as an opportunity for self-improvement and a potential opportunity for emotional strengthening.

Below I have listed a little bit of advice when it comes to rejection.

Take Control of your Feelings

Coping with rejection starts with just one thing: honesty. Honesty about your self-worth, honesty with your feelings, and honesty about the situation.

1.      Make a list of the things that you know to be true about you: List your good qualities, positive characteristics, and list what you really want out of life.

2.      Answer the question, “Why did it happen?” When you give yourself the answer, stick to the facts. Look back at the situation and think about what, in the future, you would like to change about your interaction?

3.      Stay positive! Don’t allow yourself to regret, second guess, or be hard on yourself. You can’t change the past, but you can change the future. Don’t put yourself down—this only will cut out hope and the belief we have in ourselves. We need both hope and belief in ourselves to move forward and take another risk.

4.      Assess the situation maturely. Remember, it’s not the end of the world. Keep everything in a rational perspective and stay positive.

5.      Give yourself credit for trying. If you do try again, remind yourself of the chance that you may possibly get rejected again, but don’t allow that to hinder your hope or confidence.

6.      Talk about your rejection with someone who is going to listen and be supportive. It’s reassuring to know that someone understands and it forces you to put your feelings into words. Acknowledging your feelings help you to move beyond painful emotions and make steps into recovery.

Rejection Can Be Used To Your Advantage

When you’re making your lists, consider what things you can work on. Ask yourself, “What can I refine to help myself succeed next time?”

Thinking about improvement is a great thing. It reminds us that we are not perfect people. That there is always room for improvement in our personal lives. Use rejection as an opportunity for self-improvement!

The better we are at dealing with rejection, the less afraid we are to take risks. So, don’t be afraid of rejection. You don’t want to be scared to go after something you really want. Take the risk. Life’s too short to miss out!