This is my most recent blog post on Singles Warehouse. To read it on their website, click here.
So, summer has slowly dwindled and it’s time to start
getting cozy for fall.
This is the time when we are transitioning into what I like
to call the “relational-high” period of the year. We have left the fun,
flirtatious, laid-back summer and are moving into lots of dinner parties,
campfires, cook-outs—you know, the seasons where if you’re not in a relationship,
you wish you were.
This is also the time where I find I get asked on more
dates than I do at any other time of the year.
The only thing is that I don’t know if I want to just go on
a date to write about it anymore.
For about a month now I have been having this odd feeling of
wanting to “plant roots.” Only, I don’t know if I want to do it in Dallas—in
fact, I don’t know where I want to do it.
And if you put all of that into terms of dating, it gets complicated.
A few guys have made advances recently and the question
remains, do I go on the dates or not?
Well, that answer is easy—you always go on a first date. If
a guy musters up the confidence to ask you out, the least you can do is oblige
his wish of taking you out and give him a chance.
But, in my opinion, there is only one exception to this
rule. You can turn down a first date if: the other person has different beliefs
on a foundational topic—like drugs, religion, politics—whatever foundational
topic is on your non-negotiable list.
Lucky for me, the two guys that have made advances are
great! One is a Doctor (just graduated from Med school) and the other is a
Sales Rep who works out at my gym. I met both of them outside of the online
dating world and so far they seem to be really nice guys!
The first date is this weekend with the Sales Rep! It should
be fun! I just need to figure everything else out before either one of them ask
me on a second date :) Stay tuned for
updates regarding both of the gentlemen!
[Here is my latest article with Singles Warehouse. To read it on there website, click here.] In
one of my last articles, I talked about how I was rejected by a Pastor
and I said that rejection, in any form can be a good thing. And it can! We just
have to learn how to understand, accept and learn from it.
I will be the
first to tell you that rejection hurts, but I will also say that it’s
impossible to avoid. It is an important part of life that teaches us many
always try to look at rejection as an opportunity for self-improvement and a
potential opportunity for emotional strengthening.
Below I have
listed a little bit of advice when it comes to rejection.
Take Control of your Feelings
rejection starts with just one thing: honesty. Honesty about your self-worth,
honesty with your feelings, and honesty about the situation.
1.Make a list of the things that you know to be
true about you: List your good qualities, positive characteristics, and list
what you really want out of life.
2.Answer the question, “Why did it happen?” When
you give yourself the answer, stick to the facts. Look back at the situation
and think about what, in the future, you would like to change about your
3.Stay positive! Don’t allow yourself to regret,
second guess, or be hard on yourself. You can’t change the past, but you can
change the future. Don’t put yourself down—this only will cut out hope and the
belief we have in ourselves. We need both hope and belief in ourselves to move
forward and take another risk.
4.Assess the situation maturely. Remember, it’s
not the end of the world. Keep everything in a rational perspective and stay
5.Give yourself credit for trying. If you do try
again, remind yourself of the chance that you may possibly get rejected again,
but don’t allow that to hinder your hope or confidence.
6.Talk about your rejection with someone who is
going to listen and be supportive. It’s reassuring to know that someone
understands and it forces you to put your feelings into words. Acknowledging
your feelings help you to move beyond painful emotions and make steps into
Rejection Can Be Used To Your Advantage
making your lists, consider what things you can work on. Ask yourself, “What
can I refine to help myself succeed next time?”
improvement is a great thing. It reminds us that we are not perfect people.
That there is always room for improvement in our personal lives. Use rejection
as an opportunity for self-improvement!
The better we are
at dealing with rejection, the less afraid we are to take risks. So, don’t
be afraid of rejection. You don’t want to be scared to go after something you
really want. Take the risk. Life’s too short to miss out!